VERY FUNNY!

Forest Gump goes to heaven

>
> The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at
> > the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,
> > and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
> > St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,
> > it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I must
> > tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering
> > an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to
> > pass it before you can get into Heaven.'
> > Forrest responds, 'It sure is
> > good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance
> > exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
> > Life was a big enough test
> > as it was.'
> > St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I
> > know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
> > First:
> > What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
> > Second:
> > How many seconds are there in a year?
> > Third:
> > What is God's first name?'
> > Forrest leaves to think the questions
> > over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and
> > says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
> > tell me your answers'
> > Forrest replied, 'Well, the
> > first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?
> > Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'
> > The Saint's eyes opened wide and
> > he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
> > have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit
> > for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.
> > 'How many seconds in a year?
> > Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about
> > that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'
> > Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?
> > Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds
> > in a year?'
> > Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's
> > got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '
> > 'Hold it,' interrupts St.
> > Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
> > though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give
> > you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.
> > Can you tell me God's first name'?
> > 'Sure,' Forrest replied,
> > 'it's Andy.'
> > 'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated
> > and frustrated St Peter.
> > 'Ok, I can understand how you
> > came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the
> > world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'
> > 'Shucks, that was the easiest
> > one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song, 'ANDY
> > WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
> > St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
> > and said: 'Run Forrest, run.'